A Warning, Both Dire and Urgent

Let all who would trespass here be warned, lest ye fail to appreciate the very nature of the company ye would keep within these walls; scallywags, scurvy dogs, blighters and all manner of outcast from proper society. Neither personal wealth nor virtue are safe from the likes of these despicable Buccaneers of Booty and the thieves, rapists, murderers and assorted misfits these pirates share both rum and camaraderie with.

High moral character and the greater forces of your polite society will grant ye no salvation, nor refuge, from the sinister intentions and outrageous exploits of these vicious pirates who frequent the premises. Wives and mothers, maidens and whores alike suffer great risk to both reputation and virtue amongst these Booty Bandits and common criminals. These pirates are prone to severing testicles and appendages as easily as they have severed their ties with civilization, with little thought of any legal consequences or for payment due in a life hereafter.

A learned man, impervious to the dangers of such thought, might be sorely tempted to believe that men who have adopted the technologies of a proper society, who donate their aquired resources for the benefit of mankind, will likely be harmless manipulators of banking laws and internet etiquette. Be assured, any technology and equipment garnered by these scallywags will have been ill gotten, likely to be used for insidious purposes that any man of high moral fiber dare not let himself contemplate. Software piracy and the transfer of images of a pornographic nature are not unknown to these vermin, this pestilence sailing the high seas of fiber optics and the treacherous waters of a virtual reality.

A foolish world, ignorant of the real treachery of this enemy, cannot hope to prevail against the devious enterprises of these pirates, any more than the unsuspecting maiden, who freely associates with the likes of these unsavory Poontang Pirates, can reasonably expect to escape with both her virtue and coin purse intact and a full bottle of rum in hand.

It would be most unforgivable if the entrance to these premises were not well posted with the danger presented to an unwary traveler. Let it be known to all, therefore, that ye have been forthwith and duly warned :

“There be pirates here.”